I just watch the movie The Men Who Stare At Goats (starring George Clooney, Ewan MacGregor, Jeff Bridges and Kevin Spacey), who focuses on the First Earth Battallion (called the New Earth Army in the movie), a New Age initiative within the US military that lives on as an independent entity to this day. It's a strange and amazing thing worth looking into, some of it inspiring and some of it ridiculous. But I mostly just wanted to share their Earth Prayer, which was used in the movie verbatim:
Mother Earth… my life support system… as a soldier… I must drink your blue water… live inside your red clay and eat your green skin.
I pray… my boots will always kiss your face and my footsteps match your heartbeat.
Carry my body through space and time… you are my connection to the Universe… and all that comes after.
I am yours and you are mine.
I salute you.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Fun Facts From the Book of Samuel
Lately I've been doing what I never really did during my youth as an ardent Christian or my college years at a Lutheran college or my two summers as a Bible camp counselor: actually read the Bible. And read it like you would read a book you actually wanted to understand, not cut up into out-of-context snippets like is typically done in church.
The more I do so the more I understand why this is not done in church: most of it would hardly help reinforce people's Christianity, much less reassure them on Sunday morning. For instance, lately I have been working on first and second Samuel, which covers the founding of the Israeli monarchy. Leaving aside the fact that scholars have figured out that the books are drawn from two sources that clearly have completely different ideas about many things, I'll just concentrate on what I'll be calling CAS, for Crazy-Ass Shit, such as:
1. The Israelites main enemy, the Philistines, capture the Ark of the Covenant (which you'll remember from Raiders of the Lost Ark) in battle. Unfortunately, bad things happen in whatever Philistine city has the Ark, including mass outbreaks of tumors. So the Philistine priests decide that they need to return the Ark, along with five golden tumors and five golden mice. Golden tumors? (I Samuel 5-6)
2. Saul made a deal with David: David could marry Saul's daughter Michal if David brought him 100 Philistine foreskins. David goes the extra mile and brings him 200 Philistine foreskins (from dead Philistines, of course). (I Samuel 18:20-29)
3. Saul and David are such prolific killers that there is a song about them (suitable for dancing), the lyrics of which go: "Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands." It's even mentioned three times: I Samuel 18:7, I Samuel 21:11 and in a retelling of the same story in I Samuel 29:5.
4. Saul, when he becomes king, banishes the mediums (or witches) and wizards. However, when God won't give him a sign, whether by dreams or holy dice rolls (more on this later), his finds a medium, the Witch of Endor (isn't that the planet of the Ewoks?) and convinces her to raise Samuel from Sheol to give him advice. Instead, Samuel chews him out.
And on and on. I patiently await for stained glass windows to be made of these stories.
The more I do so the more I understand why this is not done in church: most of it would hardly help reinforce people's Christianity, much less reassure them on Sunday morning. For instance, lately I have been working on first and second Samuel, which covers the founding of the Israeli monarchy. Leaving aside the fact that scholars have figured out that the books are drawn from two sources that clearly have completely different ideas about many things, I'll just concentrate on what I'll be calling CAS, for Crazy-Ass Shit, such as:
1. The Israelites main enemy, the Philistines, capture the Ark of the Covenant (which you'll remember from Raiders of the Lost Ark) in battle. Unfortunately, bad things happen in whatever Philistine city has the Ark, including mass outbreaks of tumors. So the Philistine priests decide that they need to return the Ark, along with five golden tumors and five golden mice. Golden tumors? (I Samuel 5-6)
2. Saul made a deal with David: David could marry Saul's daughter Michal if David brought him 100 Philistine foreskins. David goes the extra mile and brings him 200 Philistine foreskins (from dead Philistines, of course). (I Samuel 18:20-29)
3. Saul and David are such prolific killers that there is a song about them (suitable for dancing), the lyrics of which go: "Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands." It's even mentioned three times: I Samuel 18:7, I Samuel 21:11 and in a retelling of the same story in I Samuel 29:5.
4. Saul, when he becomes king, banishes the mediums (or witches) and wizards. However, when God won't give him a sign, whether by dreams or holy dice rolls (more on this later), his finds a medium, the Witch of Endor (isn't that the planet of the Ewoks?) and convinces her to raise Samuel from Sheol to give him advice. Instead, Samuel chews him out.
And on and on. I patiently await for stained glass windows to be made of these stories.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Friday, September 25, 2009
Of Faith, Swimsuits and Silicone
Oh, the things I end up looking at in the name of research. Awhile ago, I remembered happening upon a site for some kind of Christian beauty pageant, and it intrigued me. I had previously been interested in the phenomenon of people like Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson claiming to be traditional Christian girls and virgins while basically being teenage strippers who sing (well, Jessica sings). Call me a biased Yankee, but this felt like a part of Southern culture I couldn't wrap my head around. So what's with the blatant cheesecake/Jesus combo?
Turns out there is a Miss Christian America pageant, which requires both participation in Christian ministry and a "sportswear" competition (could that sport be swimming, or can you show up in a jogging suit?). After poking around a little bit, I noticed that, although there is a picture of a bunch of contestants, there is no information on who the reigning Miss Christian America is. Is it a scam? A noble attempt that failed? The entrance fee is $1500, while you can set up your own state franchising for a yearly fee of a mere $2500. Perhaps no one took them up on it.
There is also a Christian United States Pageants (featuring Mrs., Ms., Miss, Teen, Jr. Teen and Princess), which does have information on who their winner is, but only on their MySpace page. Their main page looks like it never quite came together, but it looks like they have eight state pageants on MySpace. Miss Christian USA 2009(who is also Miss Christian International) has a MySpace page, and it looks like she's a divorced mom, so they seem to be more open minded than some.
There is also Alabama Christian Pageants, which seems to be from a couple of years ago, with no sign that it actually took place. It is/was a project of a Certified Beauty Advisor and Assistant Modeling Instructor who also had a business selling gift baskets (Now I feel terrible... so many dreams don't come true...).
All of these pageants, or attempted pageants, seem to be melding the traditional beauty pageant focus on poise, beauty and good hair and make-up, with a focus on morality, community service and ministry, while skipping the swimsuit. No Britneys here.
Perhaps it's hard to compete with the real thing, especially when "a full third of [Miss America contestants] from the past three decades have overt Christian references, testimonies, or invitations to accept Christ..." in their official bios, as is pointed out in the Christianity Today article "Miss Christian America." It's interesting to see how every one of the winners knew that their victory was God's plan. Apparently, it was also God's plan for the other contestants to lose.
The contestants, and seemingly Christianity Today, have little to no qualms about the swimsuit competition, which is interesting for a magazine whose advertisements feature an issue with John Calvin on the cover (what would old John think?). To get a full dose of the splendor, check out this great video montage of Christian Miss America contestants. And wait until the drawing at the end to get a hint of the creator's true perspective (I also enjoyed his "Celebrity Christians #2," a celebration of faith and cleavage).
After all this, I don't think I've gained much insight. Except that maybe it's my uptight Lutheran cultural background that makes me think ogling scantily clad young ladies and chastity are contradictory in the first place. These Southern ladies' ancestors were displaying a lot of cleavage (if Gone With the Wind can be trusted) back when my ancestors were covered head to toe and banning drinking and dancing. Thoughts?
P.S. On the international level, there's the Queen Esther International Beauty Pageant, founded by the former Miss Botswana. It's named after Esther from the Bible, who the founder looks to as a role model: a woman who won a beauty pageant, became Queen, and saved her people. Being a little rusty on my Book of Esther, I checked it out. It turns out Esther was a part of a beauty pageant of sorts. The King of Persia, having ditched his wife for not coming when she was called, called for virgins to come to his harem, get several months of beauty treatments, and come to him one by one to stay the night. Whomever pleased him most got to be Queen. So I guess that's kind of a beauty pageant, and kind of like an episode of Rock of Love. No wonder I don't remember that being read in church...
Turns out there is a Miss Christian America pageant, which requires both participation in Christian ministry and a "sportswear" competition (could that sport be swimming, or can you show up in a jogging suit?). After poking around a little bit, I noticed that, although there is a picture of a bunch of contestants, there is no information on who the reigning Miss Christian America is. Is it a scam? A noble attempt that failed? The entrance fee is $1500, while you can set up your own state franchising for a yearly fee of a mere $2500. Perhaps no one took them up on it.
There is also a Christian United States Pageants (featuring Mrs., Ms., Miss, Teen, Jr. Teen and Princess), which does have information on who their winner is, but only on their MySpace page. Their main page looks like it never quite came together, but it looks like they have eight state pageants on MySpace. Miss Christian USA 2009(who is also Miss Christian International) has a MySpace page, and it looks like she's a divorced mom, so they seem to be more open minded than some.
There is also Alabama Christian Pageants, which seems to be from a couple of years ago, with no sign that it actually took place. It is/was a project of a Certified Beauty Advisor and Assistant Modeling Instructor who also had a business selling gift baskets (Now I feel terrible... so many dreams don't come true...).
All of these pageants, or attempted pageants, seem to be melding the traditional beauty pageant focus on poise, beauty and good hair and make-up, with a focus on morality, community service and ministry, while skipping the swimsuit. No Britneys here.
Perhaps it's hard to compete with the real thing, especially when "a full third of [Miss America contestants] from the past three decades have overt Christian references, testimonies, or invitations to accept Christ..." in their official bios, as is pointed out in the Christianity Today article "Miss Christian America." It's interesting to see how every one of the winners knew that their victory was God's plan. Apparently, it was also God's plan for the other contestants to lose.
The contestants, and seemingly Christianity Today, have little to no qualms about the swimsuit competition, which is interesting for a magazine whose advertisements feature an issue with John Calvin on the cover (what would old John think?). To get a full dose of the splendor, check out this great video montage of Christian Miss America contestants. And wait until the drawing at the end to get a hint of the creator's true perspective (I also enjoyed his "Celebrity Christians #2," a celebration of faith and cleavage).
After all this, I don't think I've gained much insight. Except that maybe it's my uptight Lutheran cultural background that makes me think ogling scantily clad young ladies and chastity are contradictory in the first place. These Southern ladies' ancestors were displaying a lot of cleavage (if Gone With the Wind can be trusted) back when my ancestors were covered head to toe and banning drinking and dancing. Thoughts?
P.S. On the international level, there's the Queen Esther International Beauty Pageant, founded by the former Miss Botswana. It's named after Esther from the Bible, who the founder looks to as a role model: a woman who won a beauty pageant, became Queen, and saved her people. Being a little rusty on my Book of Esther, I checked it out. It turns out Esther was a part of a beauty pageant of sorts. The King of Persia, having ditched his wife for not coming when she was called, called for virgins to come to his harem, get several months of beauty treatments, and come to him one by one to stay the night. Whomever pleased him most got to be Queen. So I guess that's kind of a beauty pageant, and kind of like an episode of Rock of Love. No wonder I don't remember that being read in church...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
"Spiritual Warriors" Plan Takeover of Society
Ever heard of the New Apostolic Movement? I hadn't either until they came up in connection with Sarah Palin, but they are apparently growing fast, especially in places like Brazil. This rather rambling post on DailyKos touches their philosophy and ambitions, including:
This movement has an ambition to conquer territory and control sectors of society, as opposed to/in addition to winning hearts for God. It combines the tactics of a modern revolutionary political movement with a belief system that is Medieval in its focus on the supernatural. The more traditional posture of evangelicalism is to believe that the inherent fallen nature of humankind and this world means that the truly righteous can never achieve worldly power. This movement combines a total alienation from society with a apocalyptic expectation of total revolution more reminiscent of Marxism-Leninism or Nazism. Something to keep an eye on.
- Infiltrating business and finance, schools and education, media and entertainment and politics and government.
- "Plundering" the wealth of their enemies as "God has declared through His prophets that the wealth of the wicked will be released to the Kingdom of God."
- Transforming society "by mapping strongholds of demons, witches and 'spirits of witchcraft', and through driving those out through 'spiritual warfare'. The result will be the almost complete cessation of crime and addiction, almost 100% Christian church membership, the growth of farm vegetables to enormous size, and a miraculous reversal of environmental degradation.
put in place a project to pray in front of the home of every person in the city, systematically, block by block and house by house. He's also helped organize a 24-hour, 365-day-a-year 'prayer shield' over the city; all-night prayer vigils; and more.This reminds me a sign in front of a Christian fraternity or sorority house in Minneapolis: "Jesus is Lord of the University of Minnesota". The implication is that Jesus reigns over a certain territory, whether the people in that territory are Christians or not. One can guess who are Jesus' deputies in the administration of his reign.
This movement has an ambition to conquer territory and control sectors of society, as opposed to/in addition to winning hearts for God. It combines the tactics of a modern revolutionary political movement with a belief system that is Medieval in its focus on the supernatural. The more traditional posture of evangelicalism is to believe that the inherent fallen nature of humankind and this world means that the truly righteous can never achieve worldly power. This movement combines a total alienation from society with a apocalyptic expectation of total revolution more reminiscent of Marxism-Leninism or Nazism. Something to keep an eye on.
Nightly devotions...
You are roughly eighteen billion years old and made of matter that has been cycled through the multimillion-degree heat of innumerable giant stars. You are composed of particles that once were scattered across thousands of light-years of interstellar space, particles that were blasted out of exploding suns and that for eons drifted through the cold, starlit vacuum of the Galaxy. You are very much a child of the cosmos.
In giving birth to us, the universe has performed its most astonishing creative act. Out of a hot, dense melee of subatomic particles - which is all that once existed - it has fashioned intelligence and consciousness. Some of those tiny, primordial pinpoints of matter from the infant cosmos have become temporarily arranged to make your brain and mine. Your thoughts at this very moment derive from energy transactions between particles born at the dawn of time. Somehow the anarchy of genesis has given way to exquisite, intricate order, so that now there are portions of the universe that can reflect upon themselves and ask Why am I here? What is the purpose of life, consciousness, and reality?
In posing these questions, we are, in a sense, the universe questioning itself - a most extraordinary realization. It helps dispel permamently the notion that we are irrelevant and insignificant in nature's broad scheme.
- David Darling, Equations of Eternity
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